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De Vries watching his goal go in

Tauranga City United 2, Forrest Hill Milford 3 Links Avenue, Mount Maunganui, July 24 2016 I am really torn about this. I want to write about my trip over the Kaimai Hills to Tauranga City United and Links Avenue. I want to write about the wonderful hospitality that they afforded […]

Paradise lost

Tough beat for Shore

North Shore United 1, Mount Albert Ponsonby 2 Allen Hill Stadium, Auckland, July 23 2016 There are relegation six pointers and there are promotion six pointers – this was certainly the latter. With Waitakere’s ascension back into the top echelons of the Northern League all but assured, the race is […]

Introduction: ‘The Kid’


By my own admission, the phrase “I’ve played football for nearly all of my life” has far less impact when it emerges you cannot yet drive unaccompanied or vote. However, the phrase “I live and breathe football” carries the same meaning regardless of age. Should you ask my family or […]

Good things come in threes

Rood's second goal - a beautiful left foot blast

Western Springs 0, Glenfield Rovers 5 Seddon Fields, Auckland, July 17 2016 I can’t take it back – Glenfield were my pick for the Northern Premier Women’s League crown at the start of the season. I said as much to anyone who asked. As I cast my eye over the […]

Which Wai Wins?

Linderboom and Wylie battle

Waitakere City 3, Waitemata 1 Fred Taylor Park, Auckland, July 16 2016 I’ve seen a Clint Eastwood internet meme posted many times on Facebook over the past week. The message one takes from it is essentially that any adult male who plays “that Pokémon shit” needs to hand in his […]



Tasman United 2 Coastal Spirit 3 Mainland Women’s Premier League Sunday 10 July 2016 Saxton Field, Stoke My third look at a match between Tasman United and Coastal Spirit this year. The first was the first match of the season, the second was serendipitous with Coastal Spirit playing a double […]

Five of the most improved

Wanderers gaffer Mark Cossey making sure Porritt is ship-shape for the big occasion!

Last month I bowed to public pressure and wrote a post ranking my five favourite football grounds in New Zealand. In so doing, I also acknowledged requests for follow up pieces looking at the most improved, depressing, wind-blown and inaccessible grounds along with the best and worst stadium food. You’ll […]

Some thoughts on Ronaldo and Portugal


‘Poetic justice’ perhaps isn’t a phrase you would immediately associate with Portugal’s Euro 2016 win against host nation France this week. This year’s Euros will be remembered for many things: Iceland, Will Grigg on Fire, tears, and moths. And it prominently didn’t begin on a good note, with ugly scenes […]

Zaza you wanker


“Kingi you wanker You asshole, I hate you heaps Please die soon, in pain.” – Ricky Baker In the film ‘Hunt for the Wilderpeople’, Ricky Baker’s social worker encouraged him to work through his emotional issues by writing about his problems in haiku form. Given that I am currently coming […]


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