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The gumboots, the swandris and the Phoenix

Wellington Phoenix 3, Central Coast Mariners 0 Waikato Stadium, Hamilton, December 10 2016 Unlike my abysmal record watching Waikato teams live, my record at Phoenix games is quite good. I very rarely see them lose. So my presence on the sidelines, as New Zealand’s only professional football team played their […]

The problem with rugby

“If I was prime minister of New Zealand I would ban football and make rugby compulsory for boys and girls.” – John Campbell Last week, Bryce Edwards devoted his weekly political roundup in the New Zealand Herald to ‘The left’s problem with rugby’. Because, apparently, it’s a thing. It must be, […]

Hell to scalpers

Ok, ok, I know I’m over a week late to this particular party but there’s a good reason – I’ve been giving it some thought! *gasp* Ticket scalping was a major source of angst last week when media organisations reported that tickets to the Super Rugby final had sold out […]

Scarves on Statues – Michael Jones

[Previous instalments in the ‘Scarves on Statues’ series can be found here] Michael Jones is a New Zealand icon and considered, by those who know of such things, to be one of the greatest All Blacks ever to play rugby. What I know about Michael Jones could in the immortal words of Bob […]

If you want a job done properly…

[This post was originally published in the match day programme at Ellerslie AFC vs Manurewa on April 13 2013] Around the world and particularly in the United Kingdom there is an ever growing fad around ‘lower league football’. It appears to me to have kicked off in the mid-nineties with […]

Oval ball nonsense

Legend has it that at an English school named Rugby in 1823, William Webb Ellis picked up a soccer ball and ran with it. From that day forth, the game of rugby was inflicted on an unsuspecting world. A myriad of endless rules, a thuggish culture of “smash him bro” […]

Mooloo ole ole ole!

Waikato 28, Hawkes Bay 3 Waikato Stadium, Hamilton, October 13 2012 River runs deep, river runs slow Living in the land of the mighty Waikato Straight from the river, beer is gonna flow Aint no other place that we ever wanna go Soooooooooooooooo… Mooloo ole ole ole! Mooloo ole! I […]

How the other half lives

An overseas viewer of this blog could be forgiven for thinking, looking at the posts on local football, that New Zealand consists of, well, not very much really. A couple of shacks for football clubrooms. A few paddocks. A couple of hundred people at a stretch. But of course Association […]