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A day in the life…

…of a football fan whose team is about to face Real Madrid in the last 16 of the UEFA Champions League.

IMG_6062

12.01am:

Ten times champions of Europe. TEN TIMES!

1:12am:

What will they do to us? The mind boggles…

2:06am:

Our record against big clubs in the recent past is not pretty… 7-1 defeat to Bayern Munich. 6-1 defeat to Barcelona…

3.41am:

And now we’re in the spotlight again…

4:17am:

Our defence hasn’t been great. What if they put us to the sword? I can’t take that kind of embarrassment AGAIN!

4:50am:

Sure, we’ve won four in a row but, with all due respect to our opposition, so we bloody well should have! This is a whole new level. Are we ready?

5:15am:

It’s really not whether we win, lose or draw; it’s more a question of ‘what will be the scale of our humiliation?’

5:30am:

Ahhhhhhh I can finally feel myself drifting off to sleep…

6:00am:

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

8:30am:

Barista – “What can I get you?”

Me – “Can I ask you a hypothetical question please?”

Barista – “I suppose…”

Me – “Let’s say somebody ordered an octuple shot latte… Would there be room in the cup for any milk?”

Barista – “…”

From: Peter Green
Sent: Monday, 15 February 2016 9:31 a.m.
To: Enzo Giordani
Subject: Planning

Hi Enzo,

Will you be available at 8:45am on Thursday morning to discuss the campaign? I’ll book us a meeting room and bring the coffee.

Peter.

From: Enzo Giordani
Sent: Monday, 15 February 2016 9:35 a.m.
To: Peter Green
Subject: RE: Planning

Hi Peter,

Would you mind if we make it later in the day? Say, over lunch? I’ll even buy!

Enzo.

From: Peter Green
Sent: Monday, 15 February 2016 9:41 a.m.
To: Enzo Giordani
Subject: RE: Planning

Hi Enzo,

That sounds lovely but I’m sorry I can’t. I’ve got no other time available this week.

Peter.

From: Enzo Giordani
Sent: Monday, 15 February 2016 9:48 a.m.
To: Peter Green
Subject: RE: Planning

Hi Peter,

Are you sure? No other time? None whatsoever?

Enzo.

From: Peter Green
Sent: Monday, 15 February 2016 9:50 a.m.
To: Enzo Giordani
Subject: RE: Planning

Nope.

From: Enzo Giordani
Sent: Monday, 15 February 2016 9:52 a.m.
To: Peter Green
Subject: RE: Planning

I can’t meet Thursday morning. I’m booked in for a vasectomy.

12:00pm:

Colleague – “Want to grab some lunch out today?”

Me – “Sure! Where shall we go?”

Colleague – “I feel like Spanish.”

Me – “…”

Me – “Any other ideas?”

Colleague – “Come on, there’s a great new place just up the road getting great reviews and I want to try it!”

12:34pm:

Me – “Do you have bucatini all’amatriciana?”

Waiter – “This is a Spanish restaurant, Sir.”

Me – “Are the dishes regional?”

Waiter – “Certainly.”

Me – “Tell me, what’s the farthest region from Madrid, and what can you recommend from there?”

Waiter – “You’re a Roma fan.”

Me – “I don’t know what you’re trying to imply…”

Waiter – “¡VAMOS LOS BLANCOS!”

3:00pm:

Untitled

5:30pm:

Psychiatrist – “So, how have you been this week?”

Me – “Things are on the mend, Doc! Almost everyone in the squad is fit for the first time in what seems like forever! Ever since we sacked Rudi Garcia and brought back Spalletti we’ve been playing much better and we’ve even won our last four games!! Did you know that Spalletti was the coach when we defeated Real Madrid on aggregate in the last sixteen of the 2008 Champions League?

Psychiatrist – “You may have mentioned it one or two… hundred times.”

Me – “Maybe we can do it again. I think we can do it. Do you think we can beat Real Madrid, Doc? Do you? DO YOU?”

Psychiatrist – “Well, if you want my professional opinion it’s this: I think your condition falls outside my area of expertise. What you need is an exorcist.

7:00pm:

Gina – “So, how was your day?”

Me – “Painful.”

Gina – “What happened??”

Me – “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s watch a movie.”

Gina – “Great! Which one??”

Me – “Real Madrid vs Roma at the Santiago Bernabéu, March 5 2008.”

Gina – “ARGH I should have known! Why?? You already know everything that happened!!”

Me – “Yes, that’s the WHOLE POINT!”

11:59pm:

Ten times champions of Europe… TEN TIMES!

Categories: Roma/Italian Calcio

Tagged as:

Enzo Giordani

A grassroots football enthusiast based in Auckland, New Zealand, and a fan of the most magnificent club on earth - A.S. Roma. More info (including e-mail address) can be found here: https://in-the-back-of-the.net/about/

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