Exciting young Roma striker Mattia Destro played quite a seven minute cameo in Roma’s 4-1 (yes, that’s right, 4-1) victory over Palermo this morning our time.
He came on as a substitute for Francesco Totti in the 73rd minute before proceeding to pick up a dodgy yellow card in the 77th minute for some kind of something that exists only in the la la land the referee’s mind inhabits. He then shimmied around the keeper to score a lovely goal in the 79th minute, before finally managing to get shown his second yellow and subsequent red cards in the 80th minute for this heinous crime:
It’s the Kappa logo snuggled spidermanesquely over his eye that makes it art.
Here’s a video of what actually happened.
To recap, he scored the goal. Stopped. Had a wee think. Decided taking his shirt off might be fun. Started to do it. Suddenly remembered why that might not be the sort of thing that would win him entry into Mensa. Oops. Tried spectacularly unsuccessfully to pop it back on again before anyone noticed. Everyone noticed.
This highlights two things. Firstly, if you think a Rubik’s Cube is tricky, try putting a skintight lycra shirt over your noggin under pressure – that’s tough. Secondly, setting aside the fact that he didn’t take his shirt right off so technically shouldn’t have been booked in this instance, can we please all let common sense prevail and for the sake of the future of humanity, ditch this stupid rule?
Why do we need to be booking people for this? Hasn’t the game got bigger fish to fry?
The dumbest thing about it is the rule only seems to encourage more of this shirt removing nonsense. Like naughty children who know they are not supposed to do something, players do it anyway, all the time. Why? Sometimes because they want to reveal a message on a t-shirt underneath – that at least I get. But far more often it seems to be just for the sake of showing the world their pasty white chests.
What is it about taking your shirt off after scoring a goal that makes it so attractive? Can any strikers reading this enlighten me? Do you really simply love to feel the wind rushing through the hairs on your nipples after you’ve found the back of the net or is there something else I’m missing?
What other sports are there where players celebrate like this? Because I’m convinced it only happens in football because there’s a rule against it. There’s no other logical explanation and it does my head in.
Time to eradicate this scourge from the game. The campaign starts now. To show how strongly I feel about this I am sending a symbolic message to FIFA HQ by steadfastly ending this post now and not writing about it again at any point in the immediate future.
Categories: Roma/Italian Calcio
A grassroots football enthusiast based in Auckland, New Zealand, and a fan of the most magnificent club on earth - A.S. Roma. More info (including e-mail address) can be found here: https://in-the-back-of-the.net/about/